My Rating: 11/10
Yeh, it was so enjoyable that i'v decided to surpass my use of logic on this and go with the unfeasible score above on the basis that this movie was Awesome.
I'm not sure really where to start with my review as there's a lot that i can pick up on. The film is filled with witty comedy, a ridiculously fun plot and explosive over the top action. Michael Cera played his usual part but for this film that was exactly what it needed the role was perfect for him and he played the shy low on self confidence geek who finds himself and for all intents and purposes becomes a crazy action hero before the film is out.
As the trailer gives away the film revolves around Scott (Michael Cera) meeting the girl of his dreams and trying his hardest to get her only to realize to truly have her he must defeat her seven evil exs. Thus chaos ensues and the film turns into a rollercoaster of insane action utilizing brilliantly creative effects and a fantastic cast taking the place of the evil ex's including Brandon Routh (Superman returns) and Chris Evans (Fantastic Four). Both proved to be hilarious in effect contradicting their previous superhero roles.
The film it's self is shot so well, it's highly creative and plays out like a crazed mash of comic book / video game and high action movie. This is a serious nerd film and it features a ton of cheeky game references from the smart 8-bit music and graphics of a retro design on the universal logo to other things like grabbing a life and fights playing out as if they we're part of a tekken or street fighter.
There's consistent exciting music and variety of pace, humor and action. I can't really find the words to recommend this film it's a sublime watch and in hand absolutely one of a kind, there isn't anything else like this out there now!
Something Good:
Intelligent, witty and brilliant.
Something Bad:
For me i can't name a thing!
Worse than:
Nothing, it's wicked and in a league entirely of it's own.
Better than:
Anything i'v seen for a long, long time.
Overall:
Awesome mental film, fantastically surreal and absolutely fantastic because of it.
STEEL!
Tuesday 31 August 2010
Expensivelyshitables - Quisli
My review seemed to have got lost in the post, oh well what a shame that was. To stop wasting your time because you've been waiting over a week for this - Stallone is the director - pretty much summed this film up from the opening credits.
Crap plot, unrealistic gun that blows people a mile away, bad bad ending, actually it was a good ending becuase the film was over and I could go home and do some other stuff and quite easily forget aboutthe film and wonder what Scott pilgrim vs the world is gonna be like next week.
I'm not gonna bother you guys too much, go watch this film if there is nothing else on and you want somethingto severly take the piss out of. Mikey rourke was not used enough, he was the best thing about the film, willis and arnies roles were megger very small and not worth wathingthis film for, if you want to see a cheesy action film don't watch this one watch one of my classics Commando!
Sleep tight people and remeber they can't make cheesy action films like they used to, bad action hero actors should stay actors not turn into directors, maybe polititons
I give this film a not deserved 4 out of 10
Crap plot, unrealistic gun that blows people a mile away, bad bad ending, actually it was a good ending becuase the film was over and I could go home and do some other stuff and quite easily forget aboutthe film and wonder what Scott pilgrim vs the world is gonna be like next week.
I'm not gonna bother you guys too much, go watch this film if there is nothing else on and you want somethingto severly take the piss out of. Mikey rourke was not used enough, he was the best thing about the film, willis and arnies roles were megger very small and not worth wathingthis film for, if you want to see a cheesy action film don't watch this one watch one of my classics Commando!
Sleep tight people and remeber they can't make cheesy action films like they used to, bad action hero actors should stay actors not turn into directors, maybe polititons
I give this film a not deserved 4 out of 10
Thursday 26 August 2010
The Expendables - STEEL
My Rating: 5/10
Not really much i can say about this if i'm honest, i actually quite enjoyed it. In all respects it was hilarious! The action was brutal and very 80's but there's not a great deal of positives i can make.
I may as well start with the cast, the problem is it should be Epic it should be a huge mega swan song for the action hero's of the 80's you read the poster and you think wow they've gone and got Arnie, Sly, Willis, Lundgren and rourke in this! Unfortunately it doesn't point out that the only one really doing any action is stallone! Most people will go to this expected to see this fantastic ensemble cast kicking massive amounts of ass 80's style and are going to be thoroughly disappointed.
Mind lets not forget the new wave action hero's in there, Statham was in fairness not bad but when he's always in the role of the londoner it's not that hard for him. I actually also quite like Jet Li but for this film he was so under utilized no real exciting marshal arts set pieces it all felt like he was there for a few size jokes alongside lundgren. There are also some wrestlers who do a bit of wrestling on fire toward the end it's all a bit stupid really.
The plot was the same old action movie fare, something bad happens and some foreign nationals are of course responsible and this equals the all action americans getting involved and doing their bit. However the plot twist that doesn't actually happen because it's made apparent immediately is that some americans are in fact behind all this bad stuff. Unsurprisingly they've gone rouge from the CIA and apparently stone cold is proper hard.
There's a consistent supply of misfiring jokes some are appropriate given the cast but not worth the entire film for. I can't really add much more to this so i'll round up and look forward to SCOTT PILGRIM next week.
Something good:
Hilarious for all the wrong reasons
Something Bad:
Stupid, Stupid plot and misleading poster!
Worse than:
Any other film Stallone wrote
Better Than:
Piranha 3D (probably)
Overall: Don't expect too much and if you watch it watch it for the incoherence and complete idiocy of it all.
STEEL
Not really much i can say about this if i'm honest, i actually quite enjoyed it. In all respects it was hilarious! The action was brutal and very 80's but there's not a great deal of positives i can make.
I may as well start with the cast, the problem is it should be Epic it should be a huge mega swan song for the action hero's of the 80's you read the poster and you think wow they've gone and got Arnie, Sly, Willis, Lundgren and rourke in this! Unfortunately it doesn't point out that the only one really doing any action is stallone! Most people will go to this expected to see this fantastic ensemble cast kicking massive amounts of ass 80's style and are going to be thoroughly disappointed.
Mind lets not forget the new wave action hero's in there, Statham was in fairness not bad but when he's always in the role of the londoner it's not that hard for him. I actually also quite like Jet Li but for this film he was so under utilized no real exciting marshal arts set pieces it all felt like he was there for a few size jokes alongside lundgren. There are also some wrestlers who do a bit of wrestling on fire toward the end it's all a bit stupid really.
The plot was the same old action movie fare, something bad happens and some foreign nationals are of course responsible and this equals the all action americans getting involved and doing their bit. However the plot twist that doesn't actually happen because it's made apparent immediately is that some americans are in fact behind all this bad stuff. Unsurprisingly they've gone rouge from the CIA and apparently stone cold is proper hard.
There's a consistent supply of misfiring jokes some are appropriate given the cast but not worth the entire film for. I can't really add much more to this so i'll round up and look forward to SCOTT PILGRIM next week.
Something good:
Hilarious for all the wrong reasons
Something Bad:
Stupid, Stupid plot and misleading poster!
Worse than:
Any other film Stallone wrote
Better Than:
Piranha 3D (probably)
Overall: Don't expect too much and if you watch it watch it for the incoherence and complete idiocy of it all.
STEEL
Wednesday 25 August 2010
Thomas Randolph Magnum
BIO:
Thomas Randolph Magnum is a troubled soul, little is known about his past, although the heavy drinking and the lone wolf attitude suggests to others he’s running away from something or someone.
He came to Aftermath City in his early 30’s and that’s where he befriended Steel and they both became private investigators.
Whereas Steel fights crime for truth and justice, Magnum seems to just enjoy the violence involved, satisfying some kind of thirst the only way he can without actually being a criminal himself.
When he’s not fighting crime you can find Magnum in his seedy apartment probably drunk or passed out lying in his own urine.
MAIN SKILLS:
STRENGTH: 52
TOUGHNESS: 57
AGILITY: 18
INTELLIGENCE: 2
SPECIAL SKILLS:
SEXUAL DEVIANCE: 100
RAGING ALCOLHOLIC: 100
TOP 5 FAVOURITE FILMS:
21 HUMP STREET
DONE IN 60 SECONDS
GANGBANGS OF NEW YORK
THE DA VINCI LOAD
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA
The Expendables - El Papa Diablo
Wow, my god, holy shit.....just some of the words I uttered as I cringed my way through what I can only describe as a steaming pile of over hyped turd. If like me you have a penis and a pair of testes I imagine you were filled with excitement when the news hit, the mother of all action films was coming, starring the Godfathers of guns, the patron saints of one liners, the dogs of death, Stallone, Willis and Arnie. They would be called the Expendables, a group of highly trained mercenaries capable of kicking ass and taking names and also partaking in some battlefield based witty banter.
So the film kicks off with the Mercs taking on a group of Somalian pirates who have kidnapped the crew of a boat as you can imagine the pirates get an ass whooping. Cue trip to see the always amazing Micky Rourke who doubles as a tattoo artist and the contact for all the dodgy work the Expendables get. Barney (Stallone) excepts a job that "will take them to hell and back", so Barney goes to see the man who is offering him the job, its Bruce Willis and Arnie turns up as a rival Mercenary who doesn't like playing in the jungle. This scene was supposed to be a legendary moment, it misses the mark completely, the job gets accepted blah blah yak yak Bruce threatens Sly blah blah. Barney and Lee Christmas (Statham, that's right Christmas, brother to Lloyd) take a trip to some fucked up Island where a general has been corrupted by a rouge CIA agent (Eric Roberts, hamming it up nicely) and his heavy (Stone Cold Steve Austin). Barney who has never been in love meets a women waaaaaaay out of his league and falls in love with her after she teaches him a lesson about giving, MEH.
A car chase and an Expandable going bad later all the Expendables go back and blow the shit of the Island and save the princess, that turns out to be the filthy generals daughter (what a twist) and then leave her there because Barney prefers the company of Statham, Li, Crews, Couture and Lungren (to some extent).
This film was bad, it was badly written and badly directed by Mr Stallone (he wrote Rocky and won an oscar for it, Rocky is amazing). He really dropped a bollock on this one. The worst thing is the dialogue its just so bad and unconvincing. Every line seems to have been written as a clever one liner but they are all so bad none of the conversations make sense. One speech is good but I think that's because its made by Micky Rourke who provides the only engaging 2 minutes of the film ( I would have paid to watch a 2 hour Rourke monologue rather then this). The story, what story there isn't one it a series of set pieces and fillers that are so fucking boring it felt like I was Expendable. With a cast of old school and new school action heroes the acting was never going to be Oscar worthy, but its taken to another level here, the supposed funny banter between the Expendables is so pointless and unfunny that it was painful to watch (Tom Hanks did better with a dog in Turner and Hooch). I kind of felt sorry for the cast, only Rourke had the talent to make it work. Action, it was....ok, not mind blowing but ok, it entertained but didn't give me a full on robot chubby. I really did not like this film.
In short.......SHIT A STEAMING PILE OF SHIT.
Rating 2/10
P.S Magnum go join the go fuck yourself gang and then go fuck yourself.
So the film kicks off with the Mercs taking on a group of Somalian pirates who have kidnapped the crew of a boat as you can imagine the pirates get an ass whooping. Cue trip to see the always amazing Micky Rourke who doubles as a tattoo artist and the contact for all the dodgy work the Expendables get. Barney (Stallone) excepts a job that "will take them to hell and back", so Barney goes to see the man who is offering him the job, its Bruce Willis and Arnie turns up as a rival Mercenary who doesn't like playing in the jungle. This scene was supposed to be a legendary moment, it misses the mark completely, the job gets accepted blah blah yak yak Bruce threatens Sly blah blah. Barney and Lee Christmas (Statham, that's right Christmas, brother to Lloyd) take a trip to some fucked up Island where a general has been corrupted by a rouge CIA agent (Eric Roberts, hamming it up nicely) and his heavy (Stone Cold Steve Austin). Barney who has never been in love meets a women waaaaaaay out of his league and falls in love with her after she teaches him a lesson about giving, MEH.
A car chase and an Expandable going bad later all the Expendables go back and blow the shit of the Island and save the princess, that turns out to be the filthy generals daughter (what a twist) and then leave her there because Barney prefers the company of Statham, Li, Crews, Couture and Lungren (to some extent).
This film was bad, it was badly written and badly directed by Mr Stallone (he wrote Rocky and won an oscar for it, Rocky is amazing). He really dropped a bollock on this one. The worst thing is the dialogue its just so bad and unconvincing. Every line seems to have been written as a clever one liner but they are all so bad none of the conversations make sense. One speech is good but I think that's because its made by Micky Rourke who provides the only engaging 2 minutes of the film ( I would have paid to watch a 2 hour Rourke monologue rather then this). The story, what story there isn't one it a series of set pieces and fillers that are so fucking boring it felt like I was Expendable. With a cast of old school and new school action heroes the acting was never going to be Oscar worthy, but its taken to another level here, the supposed funny banter between the Expendables is so pointless and unfunny that it was painful to watch (Tom Hanks did better with a dog in Turner and Hooch). I kind of felt sorry for the cast, only Rourke had the talent to make it work. Action, it was....ok, not mind blowing but ok, it entertained but didn't give me a full on robot chubby. I really did not like this film.
In short.......SHIT A STEAMING PILE OF SHIT.
Rating 2/10
P.S Magnum go join the go fuck yourself gang and then go fuck yourself.
Tuesday 24 August 2010
The Expendables - MAGNUM
My Rating: 1/10 No wonder Van Damme and Seagal are nowhere to be seen.
HERE IT IS MEN – OUR MALE EQUIVLANT TO SEX AND THE CITY 2 AND YES IT’S JUST AS SHIT AS THAT!!!
Well what can I say sometimes I really can’t be arsed writing these reviews just like Hollywood can’t be arsed making decent action flicks anymore – I could simply summarise this film in one word – SHIT, maybe three words – MOTHER FUCKING SHIT, but where would the fun be in that – To the Magnum-mobile...
You could say The Expendables is the piss poor swan song of our 80’s and 90’s stars, led by steroid pumping Stallone mumbling his way through the film. Bruce Willis shows up taking time out from ruining his Die Hard franchise offering Stallone’s character a job to take out some general who controls a small island near the Gulf. A wooden looking Arnie pops his head in (the CGI Arnie from T4, looked more lifelike than this guy) just so he can tell Stallone that he can take this job, probably because he’s realised he can’t be an action star for the rest of his life so decided to get a proper job as a politician – maybe he should tell Stallone to do the same.
Anyway the gang scout the island on a reconnaissance mission – explosions ensure – go back home – car chase + fight scene – back to the island – more explosions ensure and that’s about it and this shit is written by the guy who brought us the Oscar winning Rocky – what the fuck went wrong???
I tell you what went wrong Hollywood got greedy – it’s all about the money and coming up with whacky ideas like “hey why don’t we get all those old ass action stars together in one film, it’ll be like THE BEST ACTION FILM EVER...” NO IT FUCKING WON’T!!! And I’ll tell you why – the reason why we don’t really have any action stars of the 21st century and still have to rely on these granddads to entertain us is because the lack of originality Hollywood brings to the big screen these days, because they’re too scared to take risks and dumbing down stuff to lower certificates so the kiddies can go and watch too = more money in their filthy pockets.
It wasn’t these so called action stars that made the films back then – it was the films that made them the stars. Rocky, First Blood, The Terminator Predator and Die Hard were all brilliant films all down to the amazing stories that were told and it’s these films that set these stars off into superstardom.
That’s the problem with this film it’s all glossy on the cover with the cast that has been put together but when you look further – It’s lacking any creativity that we use to have back in the day, it’s just another mundane Hollywood action flick with hundreds of explosions thrown in, ridiculous fight scenes and lots of knife throwing because that’s what the kids want – fuck story, well I say FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD!!! I’m off to illegally download some shit so I can watch your empire crumble, or maybe I’ll just download some porn... yeah probably porn.
MAGNUM’S VERDICT: Stallone and Co please just call it a day, take a leaf out of Mel Gibson’s book and become a racist, wife-beating alcoholic – at least you’ll be on TV!!!
PEACE
Tom France
Create your badge
HERE IT IS MEN – OUR MALE EQUIVLANT TO SEX AND THE CITY 2 AND YES IT’S JUST AS SHIT AS THAT!!!
Well what can I say sometimes I really can’t be arsed writing these reviews just like Hollywood can’t be arsed making decent action flicks anymore – I could simply summarise this film in one word – SHIT, maybe three words – MOTHER FUCKING SHIT, but where would the fun be in that – To the Magnum-mobile...
You could say The Expendables is the piss poor swan song of our 80’s and 90’s stars, led by steroid pumping Stallone mumbling his way through the film. Bruce Willis shows up taking time out from ruining his Die Hard franchise offering Stallone’s character a job to take out some general who controls a small island near the Gulf. A wooden looking Arnie pops his head in (the CGI Arnie from T4, looked more lifelike than this guy) just so he can tell Stallone that he can take this job, probably because he’s realised he can’t be an action star for the rest of his life so decided to get a proper job as a politician – maybe he should tell Stallone to do the same.
Anyway the gang scout the island on a reconnaissance mission – explosions ensure – go back home – car chase + fight scene – back to the island – more explosions ensure and that’s about it and this shit is written by the guy who brought us the Oscar winning Rocky – what the fuck went wrong???
I tell you what went wrong Hollywood got greedy – it’s all about the money and coming up with whacky ideas like “hey why don’t we get all those old ass action stars together in one film, it’ll be like THE BEST ACTION FILM EVER...” NO IT FUCKING WON’T!!! And I’ll tell you why – the reason why we don’t really have any action stars of the 21st century and still have to rely on these granddads to entertain us is because the lack of originality Hollywood brings to the big screen these days, because they’re too scared to take risks and dumbing down stuff to lower certificates so the kiddies can go and watch too = more money in their filthy pockets.
It wasn’t these so called action stars that made the films back then – it was the films that made them the stars. Rocky, First Blood, The Terminator Predator and Die Hard were all brilliant films all down to the amazing stories that were told and it’s these films that set these stars off into superstardom.
That’s the problem with this film it’s all glossy on the cover with the cast that has been put together but when you look further – It’s lacking any creativity that we use to have back in the day, it’s just another mundane Hollywood action flick with hundreds of explosions thrown in, ridiculous fight scenes and lots of knife throwing because that’s what the kids want – fuck story, well I say FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD!!! I’m off to illegally download some shit so I can watch your empire crumble, or maybe I’ll just download some porn... yeah probably porn.
MAGNUM’S VERDICT: Stallone and Co please just call it a day, take a leaf out of Mel Gibson’s book and become a racist, wife-beating alcoholic – at least you’ll be on TV!!!
PEACE
Tom France
Create your badge
The One You've All Been Waiting For...
That's right tonight's film is the Expendables, there's been some hits and shits over the past 6 weeks all leading to this bad boy, its been on our radar for a bit - it's one of them it could be so fucking awesome or it could be absolute shite, reviews up later on.
Also with the introduction of the MilkyBar Man as a permenant member of the Hit Or Shit Crew (Steel made him bring in his parent request slip) we'll be providing you soon with Bio's and Top Trumps of the gang - watch this space!
Also with the introduction of the MilkyBar Man as a permenant member of the Hit Or Shit Crew (Steel made him bring in his parent request slip) we'll be providing you soon with Bio's and Top Trumps of the gang - watch this space!
Wednesday 18 August 2010
BE BACK NEXT WEEK!
Steel the family man is away this week, while Magnum just lays in a confused drunken state, so we'll all be back next week for The Expendables review... joy :S
Monday 16 August 2010
Sunday 15 August 2010
PAY IT A VISIT SOMETIME - GOODFELLAS
Old films are like an old relative, you forget about them until someone mentions that they haven't seen in them in a while or your broad hasn't actually met them.
My girlfriend of 4 years asked if I had Goodfellas. I thought I did, turned out it had gone missing so I bought it again and watched it with my women. Man that film never gets bad it matures like a fine wine.
My girlfriend of 4 years asked if I had Goodfellas. I thought I did, turned out it had gone missing so I bought it again and watched it with my women. Man that film never gets bad it matures like a fine wine.
Friday 13 August 2010
TRAILER WATCH
Trailer watch time, this time brought to you by Magnum - so expect lots of girls not wearing much...
HIT
Sucker Punch - don't have a clue what it's about - some girl being in a nuthouse I think and using her imagination as some kind of escapism from her dark reality, to be honest just seeing the ladies in this film automaticly made this trailer a hit -
SHIT
That time of year is approaching when we get the joys of another Saw film upon us and this time in 3D - whoopty fuckin doo. I enjoyed the first one - it was something fresh and new that the horror genre needed - since then they just turned it into a piece of shit... you know what don't even bother watching this trailer - yeah that's right check out those Sucker Punch girls again.
PEACE
HIT
Sucker Punch - don't have a clue what it's about - some girl being in a nuthouse I think and using her imagination as some kind of escapism from her dark reality, to be honest just seeing the ladies in this film automaticly made this trailer a hit -
SHIT
That time of year is approaching when we get the joys of another Saw film upon us and this time in 3D - whoopty fuckin doo. I enjoyed the first one - it was something fresh and new that the horror genre needed - since then they just turned it into a piece of shit... you know what don't even bother watching this trailer - yeah that's right check out those Sucker Punch girls again.
PEACE
Wednesday 11 August 2010
The Karate Kid - STEEL
My Rating: 8/10
This is simply a great film, throughout i remember how i used to feel when watching kids films when i was younger and this film emulated those feelings perfectly. The acting is fabulous Jackie Chan was sublime and it's great to see him doing some deep emotional acting alongside one or two cheeky kung fu hi-jinks. Big things are coming for Jayden Smith no doubt and with his family heritage it's guaranteed he'll have a good, vast and interesting career ahead of him.
As far as reimaginings of 80s films go, this is on top of the pile it's so good you'd actually rather the original hadn't happened. This is miles ahead of the last stint of remakes you'll have seen including the pretty poor PREDATORS and Average A-Team films we've seen over the last month. The action throughout is enjoyable and exciting the bully of the piece and his mentor are most sinister, the bully even has a vicious persona that almost emanates from him and his performance. This little actor no doubt has a potential future as a Hollywood action movie kung fu villain.
The story follows very much that of the original with a few key changes, more depth and personality has been plowed into the characters and Jackie Chan's Mr Han is far more serious and sad compared to the somewhat kooky mr miyagi of the 80's movies. This really adds to a much deeper story and makes so much more out of the potential relationship of the characters that was never explored in the original it almost turns the film into both the story of a young man conquering his fears and an old man's redemption from his.
My only issue with the film is one of the reasons i liked it so much, it felt so much like these films did when i was younger. However one thing i always remember from being younger is that these films always seemed to take a lifetime to start and the same can be said for this! The first 20 minutes feels like it drags on, mind i say that but as soon as jackie chan joins jayden the film explodes and turns from dull to phenonemal. Granted it's 2.20 long so compared to most films that's very little lost time. I don't think i can recommend this enough, don't assume you'll be dissapointed i did and i absolutely loved it!
Something Good:
Fantastic action, exciting story and really warm characters who you get attached to allowing them to take you on an emotional ride through the movie.
Something Bad:
The slow start, bare with it though!
Worse than:
Toy Story 3
Better Than:
The rest of the karate kids and all the rubbish 80s remakes.
Overall: Watch it it's ace, it's a guaranteed fun for everyone movie. You'll love it!
STEEL
This is simply a great film, throughout i remember how i used to feel when watching kids films when i was younger and this film emulated those feelings perfectly. The acting is fabulous Jackie Chan was sublime and it's great to see him doing some deep emotional acting alongside one or two cheeky kung fu hi-jinks. Big things are coming for Jayden Smith no doubt and with his family heritage it's guaranteed he'll have a good, vast and interesting career ahead of him.
As far as reimaginings of 80s films go, this is on top of the pile it's so good you'd actually rather the original hadn't happened. This is miles ahead of the last stint of remakes you'll have seen including the pretty poor PREDATORS and Average A-Team films we've seen over the last month. The action throughout is enjoyable and exciting the bully of the piece and his mentor are most sinister, the bully even has a vicious persona that almost emanates from him and his performance. This little actor no doubt has a potential future as a Hollywood action movie kung fu villain.
The story follows very much that of the original with a few key changes, more depth and personality has been plowed into the characters and Jackie Chan's Mr Han is far more serious and sad compared to the somewhat kooky mr miyagi of the 80's movies. This really adds to a much deeper story and makes so much more out of the potential relationship of the characters that was never explored in the original it almost turns the film into both the story of a young man conquering his fears and an old man's redemption from his.
My only issue with the film is one of the reasons i liked it so much, it felt so much like these films did when i was younger. However one thing i always remember from being younger is that these films always seemed to take a lifetime to start and the same can be said for this! The first 20 minutes feels like it drags on, mind i say that but as soon as jackie chan joins jayden the film explodes and turns from dull to phenonemal. Granted it's 2.20 long so compared to most films that's very little lost time. I don't think i can recommend this enough, don't assume you'll be dissapointed i did and i absolutely loved it!
Something Good:
Fantastic action, exciting story and really warm characters who you get attached to allowing them to take you on an emotional ride through the movie.
Something Bad:
The slow start, bare with it though!
Worse than:
Toy Story 3
Better Than:
The rest of the karate kids and all the rubbish 80s remakes.
Overall: Watch it it's ace, it's a guaranteed fun for everyone movie. You'll love it!
STEEL
The Karate Kid - El Papa Diablo
Another week another chance to casually rape my childhood with a remake from the 80's, except this was enjoyable, fun and a throw back to what kids films used to be.
I was indifferent about seeing this, neither here nor there just surfing the middle and sitting on the fence but I am very glad I did. First of all it takes the kid out of America and puts him in China, Dre (Smith) is probably used to being the coolest kid on his block but in China he's just another dude who doesn't know Kung Fu, therefore he gets his ass kicked by a hard as fuck kid, scary as well, he will haunt my dreams, not like that jackass from the A-team, wanker. Dre spends the first quarter of the film avoiding bullies and vying for the attention of a lovely young Chinese girl, eventually they catch up with him and just as the scary kid is about take the beating one step to far in steps Mr Han (Chan). After confronting the boys and their Sith master....I mean Kung Fu teacher you realise why they act the way the do, lets just say this Kung Fu master is a total SHIT. Mr Han agrees to train Dre for a tournament where he will fight against his aggressors. The film plays out as you'd expect but it is carried by Jaden Smith who is already better than his Dad could ever be (his Dads Big Willy Smith, you know the Fresh Prince)he has it all and I predict big things in the future I'm talking Denzel standards here. He's funny, charming and totally believable and when you see his tears when he's getting beat up, your heart will break a little bit, you genuinely care for him and cheer for him. Ralph Macchio was really annoying in the original and it was hard to get behind him, he was like a twattish Rocky.
Jackie Chan also deserves a lot of credit here, we see a Jackie Chan that we have never seen before, we don't see Jackie Chan we see Mr Han, he's awkward, lonely and lost and Chan puts this across perfectly. One scene had me welling up and both actors play the scene so well. The Kung Fu surpasses anything in the first film, these kids really know their stuff, some of the fight scenes are breath taking and Jaden Smith more than holds his own and by the end you don't see a boy, you see a man, his performance is that mature. Of course at the end its all feel good and smiles but the journey makes it worth it.
Like old school kids movies it didn't talk down to the audience, it allowed us in to their world and we had fun while we were there.
My only gripe with this film is that the scenes between Dre and Meiying are drawn out and sometimes feel like fillers to pad out the film, its also slightly strange watching serious love between two twelve year olds. Also as Quizli pointed out the "sexy" dancing scene was a weird one, he thinks she's hot we get it, no need to make her look like an oriental pussycat doll.
In short, best remake for a long time and better than the original.
Rating 7.5/10
Much love, El Papa Diablo
P.S Magnum, I know Kung Fu so go fuck yourself.
I was indifferent about seeing this, neither here nor there just surfing the middle and sitting on the fence but I am very glad I did. First of all it takes the kid out of America and puts him in China, Dre (Smith) is probably used to being the coolest kid on his block but in China he's just another dude who doesn't know Kung Fu, therefore he gets his ass kicked by a hard as fuck kid, scary as well, he will haunt my dreams, not like that jackass from the A-team, wanker. Dre spends the first quarter of the film avoiding bullies and vying for the attention of a lovely young Chinese girl, eventually they catch up with him and just as the scary kid is about take the beating one step to far in steps Mr Han (Chan). After confronting the boys and their Sith master....I mean Kung Fu teacher you realise why they act the way the do, lets just say this Kung Fu master is a total SHIT. Mr Han agrees to train Dre for a tournament where he will fight against his aggressors. The film plays out as you'd expect but it is carried by Jaden Smith who is already better than his Dad could ever be (his Dads Big Willy Smith, you know the Fresh Prince)he has it all and I predict big things in the future I'm talking Denzel standards here. He's funny, charming and totally believable and when you see his tears when he's getting beat up, your heart will break a little bit, you genuinely care for him and cheer for him. Ralph Macchio was really annoying in the original and it was hard to get behind him, he was like a twattish Rocky.
Jackie Chan also deserves a lot of credit here, we see a Jackie Chan that we have never seen before, we don't see Jackie Chan we see Mr Han, he's awkward, lonely and lost and Chan puts this across perfectly. One scene had me welling up and both actors play the scene so well. The Kung Fu surpasses anything in the first film, these kids really know their stuff, some of the fight scenes are breath taking and Jaden Smith more than holds his own and by the end you don't see a boy, you see a man, his performance is that mature. Of course at the end its all feel good and smiles but the journey makes it worth it.
Like old school kids movies it didn't talk down to the audience, it allowed us in to their world and we had fun while we were there.
My only gripe with this film is that the scenes between Dre and Meiying are drawn out and sometimes feel like fillers to pad out the film, its also slightly strange watching serious love between two twelve year olds. Also as Quizli pointed out the "sexy" dancing scene was a weird one, he thinks she's hot we get it, no need to make her look like an oriental pussycat doll.
In short, best remake for a long time and better than the original.
Rating 7.5/10
Much love, El Papa Diablo
P.S Magnum, I know Kung Fu so go fuck yourself.
The Kung Fu kid - Quisli
Well this film surprised me, I really didn't want to go and see it. I think I like the first one but it wasn't something that I hold in my top ten or anything. Anyways I glad I got dragged to this film by magnum as it was a succes, we all know what's gonna happen in the end if you vaguely remember the original but the film, casting and story of this one has hugely been enhanced. I thought it was going to be a very child like film and especially as mr chan was starring it it I thought it wa going to be all comedy and cheap laughs. But he definatley pulled this role off, complete seriousness and not a lifelike yoda clone.
Will smiths son played an amazing leading role, like magnum said he has out acted his father already and is onto a very succesful career in acting, because nowadays it seems anyone that gains fame for their supposed good looks have a string of films lined up for them like that twilight vampire dude and zack efron, when there are kids like mini smith that have that talent that deserves them a role like this, and at his age bein able to mantain an emotional seen, whilst pulling off a tear to accompany mr hans sad story make this film an alrounder ; comedy, emotional and motivating.
I would recomend going to see this film, don't know if it's film of the year but it's a better remake, I would say better that the original and it's piss's All over that tiwilight sadga, what happened to making vampire films scary and manly, this film needs to manup, oh right it's a vampire film for kids and lovestruck girls/women. What happened to blood, dark alleyways, old dusty houses, coffins an sex. Becuase we all know that vampires are about sex, the whole penetrating of the neck with teeth and stuff, we all know what that's a reprensentation for.
Go watch kung Fu/karate kid, it'll surprise I'd your not really wanting to watch it, some great acting from mr chan and mr little will smith and if your twelve you'll love the chinese girl and her American dancing but if your older you'll just fill a little bit uncomfortable, bit like watching certain parts of Leon, buts that's a brilliant film anyway
I give this film a 9, simply because it beat my expectations and I'm sorry for anything I ever said bad about it, oh and watch out for the bad ass Chinese kid, he really does scare me.
9/10
Quisli
Will smiths son played an amazing leading role, like magnum said he has out acted his father already and is onto a very succesful career in acting, because nowadays it seems anyone that gains fame for their supposed good looks have a string of films lined up for them like that twilight vampire dude and zack efron, when there are kids like mini smith that have that talent that deserves them a role like this, and at his age bein able to mantain an emotional seen, whilst pulling off a tear to accompany mr hans sad story make this film an alrounder ; comedy, emotional and motivating.
I would recomend going to see this film, don't know if it's film of the year but it's a better remake, I would say better that the original and it's piss's All over that tiwilight sadga, what happened to making vampire films scary and manly, this film needs to manup, oh right it's a vampire film for kids and lovestruck girls/women. What happened to blood, dark alleyways, old dusty houses, coffins an sex. Becuase we all know that vampires are about sex, the whole penetrating of the neck with teeth and stuff, we all know what that's a reprensentation for.
Go watch kung Fu/karate kid, it'll surprise I'd your not really wanting to watch it, some great acting from mr chan and mr little will smith and if your twelve you'll love the chinese girl and her American dancing but if your older you'll just fill a little bit uncomfortable, bit like watching certain parts of Leon, buts that's a brilliant film anyway
I give this film a 9, simply because it beat my expectations and I'm sorry for anything I ever said bad about it, oh and watch out for the bad ass Chinese kid, he really does scare me.
9/10
Quisli
Tuesday 10 August 2010
The Karate Kid - MAGNUM
My Rating: 10/10 – Woah I know Kung Fu
KARATE SUCKS ASS WHILE KUNG FU KICKS ASS!!!
If I’m being honest I was about as excited to watch this film as much as you can be excited to go to a health clinic to double check you didn’t catch anything of that dodgy looking bird the night before.
Back when I was eight years old I hated the Karate Kid and usually the stuff you remember being good when you were a kid turns out to be dog shit when you watch it today so I can only imagine how the original film would fair up to my grown up (kind of) mind today.
I didn’t like Ralph Macchio who was the original karate kid – he was quite a unlikeable character who moaned and bitched all the time – I don’t blame them bullies for beating the shit out of him throughout the film, I couldn’t understand a word Mr Miyagi was saying and the whole film was boring and had this whole channel five vibe about it – in short – it was SHIT, so when I heard the wonderful news of a remake starring Will Smith’s kid, I can remember my reaction in two words – FUCK THAT!!!
But I didn’t fuck that, instead I decided to take a risk and give this film a go (must be getting soft in my old age) and boy am I glad I did!
It’s pretty much the same old story – but done a million times better, set in China with Kung Fu thrown in. Jaden Smith stars as the new Karate Kid, Dre (named after Dr Dre) whose moved to China with his mother, gets bullied by the most menacing Chinese kid ever to grace the cinematic screen, Jackie Chan shows up playing Mr Han, teaches him Kung Fu – YES KUNG FU, no sissy Karate here, loads of training montage galore and then onto the final tournament for some ass whooping time.
Like I said a very similar plot, but there is a lot more thrown in – there has to be for a film that is over two hours long. From Dre’s relationships with Han, his mum and some Chinese bird who’s into dirty dancing to a very emotional scene with Mr Han facing his personal demons alongside his student and new found friend this film delivers a heart warming tale with thrilling action and a lot of humour.
Jaden Smith is already a better actor than his dad and he’s only 12 years old, when we’re first introduced to him he comes over all cocky, but when he’s getting the shit kicked out of him we begin to see the vulnerable side to his character and the relationship that evolves with Mr Han is quite sweet indeed and speaking of Mr Han, the star performance of the film has to go to Jackie Chan. Having been the pun of many jokes in the Rush Hour and Shanghi films it was really cool to see Chan play a more serious and emotional character and one scene with him sharing his past with his young student is a very powerful and moving moment.
Overall it’s quite predictable, especially towards the end when you realise you’re watching a remake – but it’s a remake that works and I don’t use those words often; the equation usually goes like this 80’s film + Hollywood remake = SHIT, but in this case Hollywood have done themselves proud – you may pat yourselves on the back. Now please don’t fuck it up by making some pointless crappy sequels.
MAGNUM’S VERDICT: There’s no Jessica Biel this week, but you know what – I DON’T GIVE A SHIT – That’s how good this film really is!!!
KARATE SUCKS ASS WHILE KUNG FU KICKS ASS!!!
If I’m being honest I was about as excited to watch this film as much as you can be excited to go to a health clinic to double check you didn’t catch anything of that dodgy looking bird the night before.
Back when I was eight years old I hated the Karate Kid and usually the stuff you remember being good when you were a kid turns out to be dog shit when you watch it today so I can only imagine how the original film would fair up to my grown up (kind of) mind today.
I didn’t like Ralph Macchio who was the original karate kid – he was quite a unlikeable character who moaned and bitched all the time – I don’t blame them bullies for beating the shit out of him throughout the film, I couldn’t understand a word Mr Miyagi was saying and the whole film was boring and had this whole channel five vibe about it – in short – it was SHIT, so when I heard the wonderful news of a remake starring Will Smith’s kid, I can remember my reaction in two words – FUCK THAT!!!
But I didn’t fuck that, instead I decided to take a risk and give this film a go (must be getting soft in my old age) and boy am I glad I did!
It’s pretty much the same old story – but done a million times better, set in China with Kung Fu thrown in. Jaden Smith stars as the new Karate Kid, Dre (named after Dr Dre) whose moved to China with his mother, gets bullied by the most menacing Chinese kid ever to grace the cinematic screen, Jackie Chan shows up playing Mr Han, teaches him Kung Fu – YES KUNG FU, no sissy Karate here, loads of training montage galore and then onto the final tournament for some ass whooping time.
Like I said a very similar plot, but there is a lot more thrown in – there has to be for a film that is over two hours long. From Dre’s relationships with Han, his mum and some Chinese bird who’s into dirty dancing to a very emotional scene with Mr Han facing his personal demons alongside his student and new found friend this film delivers a heart warming tale with thrilling action and a lot of humour.
Jaden Smith is already a better actor than his dad and he’s only 12 years old, when we’re first introduced to him he comes over all cocky, but when he’s getting the shit kicked out of him we begin to see the vulnerable side to his character and the relationship that evolves with Mr Han is quite sweet indeed and speaking of Mr Han, the star performance of the film has to go to Jackie Chan. Having been the pun of many jokes in the Rush Hour and Shanghi films it was really cool to see Chan play a more serious and emotional character and one scene with him sharing his past with his young student is a very powerful and moving moment.
Overall it’s quite predictable, especially towards the end when you realise you’re watching a remake – but it’s a remake that works and I don’t use those words often; the equation usually goes like this 80’s film + Hollywood remake = SHIT, but in this case Hollywood have done themselves proud – you may pat yourselves on the back. Now please don’t fuck it up by making some pointless crappy sequels.
MAGNUM’S VERDICT: There’s no Jessica Biel this week, but you know what – I DON’T GIVE A SHIT – That’s how good this film really is!!!
Thursday 5 August 2010
Month 1 - Overall Scores
Here's this months 4 films we've watched with the overall average rating for each Starting with our earliest watched and ending on our most recent:
1: PREDATORS - Average Score = 5
2: INCEPTION - Average Score = 6.5
3: TOY STORY 3 - Average Score = 10
4: THE A-TEAM - Average Score = 5.8
So there we have it our first months verdicts:
HIT OF THE MONTH = TOY STORY 3
SHIT OF THE MONTH = PREDATORS
We'll soon be expanding the blog onto other web mediums including twitter and facebook so keep your eyes peeled!
Coming next week KARATE KID.
Steel
1: PREDATORS - Average Score = 5
2: INCEPTION - Average Score = 6.5
3: TOY STORY 3 - Average Score = 10
4: THE A-TEAM - Average Score = 5.8
So there we have it our first months verdicts:
HIT OF THE MONTH = TOY STORY 3
SHIT OF THE MONTH = PREDATORS
We'll soon be expanding the blog onto other web mediums including twitter and facebook so keep your eyes peeled!
Coming next week KARATE KID.
Steel
Wednesday 4 August 2010
The A-Team - MAGNUM
My Rating: 6/10 Should have been 5. You can thank Jessica Biel for that extra point ;)
DEAR HOLLYWOOD PLEASE CAN YOU RUIN MY OTHER FAVOURITE 80’s SHOWS: AIRWOLF, KNIGHTRIDER, MAGUYVER...
Three things made this film; first - Sharlto Copley was perfectly cast as Murdoch, so good to see him back in action since the amazing District 9, second - there were shit loads of explosions from start to finish that gave you the feel of an 80’s action film even though it was lacking the charm of one and finally last but certainly not least – JESSICA BIEL, any film featuring this goddess gets an extra point from me, I’ve watched some god awful shit just because she was in it – Blade Trinity springs to mind – what a pile of steaming crap that was, but she’s worth it every time :S
The film itself isn’t that bad (yeah I know I’m surprised too) – opening up with a prologue of how the whole gang met, we’re introduced to Hannibal cuffing some dogs together for some kinky fun (sick fuck), B.A beating up people and shouting “fool” a lot because that’s a cool 80’s thing to do :/ - Face boning some guys wife who is about to fuck him over good and proper until Hannibal and B.A turn up and then the three amigos team up with Murdoch in a Mexican nuthouse whose currently stitching and burning people and then goes onto stealing the hospitals helicopter and gets them back to American soil after a five minute battle in the skies with some dirty Mexicans - phew.
The main story is set 8 years later the whole gang are still together – veterans of the Iraq war, that has finally come to an end as the U.S troops are being pulled out – needless to say the fantastic four are called in for one final mission that goes tits up – they’re set up for a crime they didn’t commit – blah blah blah, you know how it goes.
Like I said the film isn’t complete dog shit like some of the other turds I’ve seen this year – but it has the same exact story that I’ve seen a thousand times before – do a mission, get set-up, go on the run, try to clear their names – it probably didn’t help that I watched “The Shooter” the night before which had the same plot and that’s my main gripe with this film – it’s your average action film disguised as the A-Team with Jessica Biel thrown in for good measure.
Onto the casting – like I said earlier Copley was ace as Murdoch, Liam Neeson made an OK Hannibal, Bradley Cooper as Face had none of the coolness and swarve Dirk Benedict had and comes over as a complete cock. “Rampage” Jackson as B.A - well was downright shit, but I’ll let him off – after all he had the toughest job of the lot to live up to Mr T’s portrayal – as he did make the original show and Jessica Biel as hottie – yep she played that role pretty damn well.
All in all if it had been a better and more original story to bring life back into the A-Team maybe the guys would have come across better in their portrayals as our favourite 80’s tea time heroes.
MAGNUM’S VERDICT: Who gives a fuck it has Jessica Biel in it – why are you not watching it already!!!
PEACE
DEAR HOLLYWOOD PLEASE CAN YOU RUIN MY OTHER FAVOURITE 80’s SHOWS: AIRWOLF, KNIGHTRIDER, MAGUYVER...
Three things made this film; first - Sharlto Copley was perfectly cast as Murdoch, so good to see him back in action since the amazing District 9, second - there were shit loads of explosions from start to finish that gave you the feel of an 80’s action film even though it was lacking the charm of one and finally last but certainly not least – JESSICA BIEL, any film featuring this goddess gets an extra point from me, I’ve watched some god awful shit just because she was in it – Blade Trinity springs to mind – what a pile of steaming crap that was, but she’s worth it every time :S
The film itself isn’t that bad (yeah I know I’m surprised too) – opening up with a prologue of how the whole gang met, we’re introduced to Hannibal cuffing some dogs together for some kinky fun (sick fuck), B.A beating up people and shouting “fool” a lot because that’s a cool 80’s thing to do :/ - Face boning some guys wife who is about to fuck him over good and proper until Hannibal and B.A turn up and then the three amigos team up with Murdoch in a Mexican nuthouse whose currently stitching and burning people and then goes onto stealing the hospitals helicopter and gets them back to American soil after a five minute battle in the skies with some dirty Mexicans - phew.
The main story is set 8 years later the whole gang are still together – veterans of the Iraq war, that has finally come to an end as the U.S troops are being pulled out – needless to say the fantastic four are called in for one final mission that goes tits up – they’re set up for a crime they didn’t commit – blah blah blah, you know how it goes.
Like I said the film isn’t complete dog shit like some of the other turds I’ve seen this year – but it has the same exact story that I’ve seen a thousand times before – do a mission, get set-up, go on the run, try to clear their names – it probably didn’t help that I watched “The Shooter” the night before which had the same plot and that’s my main gripe with this film – it’s your average action film disguised as the A-Team with Jessica Biel thrown in for good measure.
Onto the casting – like I said earlier Copley was ace as Murdoch, Liam Neeson made an OK Hannibal, Bradley Cooper as Face had none of the coolness and swarve Dirk Benedict had and comes over as a complete cock. “Rampage” Jackson as B.A - well was downright shit, but I’ll let him off – after all he had the toughest job of the lot to live up to Mr T’s portrayal – as he did make the original show and Jessica Biel as hottie – yep she played that role pretty damn well.
All in all if it had been a better and more original story to bring life back into the A-Team maybe the guys would have come across better in their portrayals as our favourite 80’s tea time heroes.
MAGNUM’S VERDICT: Who gives a fuck it has Jessica Biel in it – why are you not watching it already!!!
PEACE
The A-Team - The Milkybar Man
So, The A-Team... first of all it should not have been called The A-Team since it was so different to the series in the way the actors behaved and the general feel of the film was not like the series at all. So I've now got that off my chest....
The actual film is not a bad one if you watch it thinking of it as another American "lets blow everything up" kinda film. There is plenty of action which allows you to watch it without too many boring moments. The start of the film kind of sets everything in motion, lets you get a feel for the characters and get to know their story. After this you get chucked right into the main story, as expected the rather perfectly executed plan, except for some small kinks, goes tits up somehow.
The only one of the characters that i actually liked was Murdock (Sharlto Copley) due to his fantastic way of being a crazy bastard, though being a fucking genius at what he does. The best B.A. Baracus (Quinton Jackson) moments must be the flying parts since everyone knows how terrified he is of flying and in this film you get to see a few ways of getting B.A. flying against his will. I gotta admit i did laugh at those moments although since i was grossly disappointed in the actor that played B.A. since I loved the way that the real B.A. (Mr. T) played the role with his crazy jewellery and his "everyone is a Fool" attitude. I was not a big fan of Faceman (Bradley Cooper) since he was a total cocky bastard in this film, he is supposed to be a real ladies man in a charming way, not in a cocky kinda way. I almost forgot all about Hannibal (Liam Neeson)... and that pretty much sums him up.
I would recommend this film to anyone that has just under 2 hours of time to waste, beats watching paint dry, unless your paint blows up every 2 minutes for almost 2 hours! It's not a bad action film, just a bad film version of The A-Team series. It's packed with explosions and predictable plans which makes this a very easy film to watch, and if you do come out of the film confused because you didn't understand the plot then you deserve a slap and I'd be happy to help you out in that department.
Now to the whole rating dealio... this film is worth watching, not sure about paying over £6 to do so though. I'm going to have to give this one a 5/10 but if they had called it something else and done it a little different it would have got at least one more point due to the rappyness of the A-Team interpretation in the film.
The Milkybar Man is signing out, safe!
The actual film is not a bad one if you watch it thinking of it as another American "lets blow everything up" kinda film. There is plenty of action which allows you to watch it without too many boring moments. The start of the film kind of sets everything in motion, lets you get a feel for the characters and get to know their story. After this you get chucked right into the main story, as expected the rather perfectly executed plan, except for some small kinks, goes tits up somehow.
The only one of the characters that i actually liked was Murdock (Sharlto Copley) due to his fantastic way of being a crazy bastard, though being a fucking genius at what he does. The best B.A. Baracus (Quinton Jackson) moments must be the flying parts since everyone knows how terrified he is of flying and in this film you get to see a few ways of getting B.A. flying against his will. I gotta admit i did laugh at those moments although since i was grossly disappointed in the actor that played B.A. since I loved the way that the real B.A. (Mr. T) played the role with his crazy jewellery and his "everyone is a Fool" attitude. I was not a big fan of Faceman (Bradley Cooper) since he was a total cocky bastard in this film, he is supposed to be a real ladies man in a charming way, not in a cocky kinda way. I almost forgot all about Hannibal (Liam Neeson)... and that pretty much sums him up.
I would recommend this film to anyone that has just under 2 hours of time to waste, beats watching paint dry, unless your paint blows up every 2 minutes for almost 2 hours! It's not a bad action film, just a bad film version of The A-Team series. It's packed with explosions and predictable plans which makes this a very easy film to watch, and if you do come out of the film confused because you didn't understand the plot then you deserve a slap and I'd be happy to help you out in that department.
Now to the whole rating dealio... this film is worth watching, not sure about paying over £6 to do so though. I'm going to have to give this one a 5/10 but if they had called it something else and done it a little different it would have got at least one more point due to the rappyness of the A-Team interpretation in the film.
The Milkybar Man is signing out, safe!
The A Team - El Papa Diablo
I do not share my fellow reviewers opinion on this film, I grew up watching the A Team in fact there is a picture of me when I was fresh from the womb in an incubator being kept company by a BA Baracus action figure that was given to me by my older brother. I sat in the cinema trying to keep an open mind but after about 5 minutes I was cringing, why you ask? Well, it all comes down to the stupid introduction to how our four heroes met, a chance meeting with BA in a desert in Mexico, Murdoch in a Mexican nuthouse, no thank you. Basically they tried to explain the reason for BA's fear of flying, why, what's the point.
So we get in to the film and we're in Iraq with the A Team, who are yet to be soldiers for hire. They get double crossed by a black ops team fronted by one of the least sinister villains ever to grace cinema, they get arrested and locked up in separate military prisons, que escape. During this period we learn that BA has been reading books about well being and spirituality and has taken an oath of none violence, what the fuck, who thought this shit up. Anyway they set out their plan to catch the bad guys and clear their names and it all ends happily ever after, except it doesn't they end up in cuffs in a police van headed to jail because escaping from prison is a federal crime.
This film didn't live up to its name, it doesn't deserve the name. Liam Neeson does fine as Hannibal a role he could play in is sleep, Sharlto Copley is perfectly cast as Howling Mad Murdoch (always my favourite character) he provides all the laughs and hogs most of the praise from me. Rampage Jackson, well, he's ok I suppose, he lacks the charisma to fill Mr.T's boots I think, plus he says fool like its back in fashion. Bradley Cooper as The Faceman, well he used to be charming and slick, in this movie he's just cocky and arrogant, he's like a metrosexual action man, sure he gets the ladies and some good action sequences but meh, he's no Dirk Benedict.
It does have some pretty good action sequences going for it but most are over the top and followed by some pretty shoddy dialogue and at times I felt as though I was watching a Mercedes advert, a boat, some fireworks and 2 Mercs that come out of nowhere., they must have paid a lot of money. And whats with Face making the plans, that makes Hannibal a pointless character and Face delivers the most famous catchphrase from the series at the end (a moment that made me pull on my left nut to stop me from tearing down the screen)Its like when a shitty wrestler steals a great wrestlers move and users it on that great wrestler So yeah The Faceman loves it when a plan comes together, tosser.
But it did squeeze a few laughs from me, mainly Murdoch and those crazy eyes and certain lines I imagine Sharlro improvised. Joe Carnahan really hasn't delivered after early promise, Narc was a well paced, well written cop thriller that got your attention from the get go but since then he has fallen a bit flat. Glad he didn't make Killing Pablo, lets just say that.
In short, Hollywood leave the 80's alone you unoriginal dicks.
Rating 4/10
Much love El Papa Diablo
P.S Magnum, I love it when a plan comes together, but this one doesn't so......go fuck yourself.
So we get in to the film and we're in Iraq with the A Team, who are yet to be soldiers for hire. They get double crossed by a black ops team fronted by one of the least sinister villains ever to grace cinema, they get arrested and locked up in separate military prisons, que escape. During this period we learn that BA has been reading books about well being and spirituality and has taken an oath of none violence, what the fuck, who thought this shit up. Anyway they set out their plan to catch the bad guys and clear their names and it all ends happily ever after, except it doesn't they end up in cuffs in a police van headed to jail because escaping from prison is a federal crime.
This film didn't live up to its name, it doesn't deserve the name. Liam Neeson does fine as Hannibal a role he could play in is sleep, Sharlto Copley is perfectly cast as Howling Mad Murdoch (always my favourite character) he provides all the laughs and hogs most of the praise from me. Rampage Jackson, well, he's ok I suppose, he lacks the charisma to fill Mr.T's boots I think, plus he says fool like its back in fashion. Bradley Cooper as The Faceman, well he used to be charming and slick, in this movie he's just cocky and arrogant, he's like a metrosexual action man, sure he gets the ladies and some good action sequences but meh, he's no Dirk Benedict.
It does have some pretty good action sequences going for it but most are over the top and followed by some pretty shoddy dialogue and at times I felt as though I was watching a Mercedes advert, a boat, some fireworks and 2 Mercs that come out of nowhere., they must have paid a lot of money. And whats with Face making the plans, that makes Hannibal a pointless character and Face delivers the most famous catchphrase from the series at the end (a moment that made me pull on my left nut to stop me from tearing down the screen)Its like when a shitty wrestler steals a great wrestlers move and users it on that great wrestler So yeah The Faceman loves it when a plan comes together, tosser.
But it did squeeze a few laughs from me, mainly Murdoch and those crazy eyes and certain lines I imagine Sharlro improvised. Joe Carnahan really hasn't delivered after early promise, Narc was a well paced, well written cop thriller that got your attention from the get go but since then he has fallen a bit flat. Glad he didn't make Killing Pablo, lets just say that.
In short, Hollywood leave the 80's alone you unoriginal dicks.
Rating 4/10
Much love El Papa Diablo
P.S Magnum, I love it when a plan comes together, but this one doesn't so......go fuck yourself.
The A Team - Quisli
The only reason I wanted to watch this was to see wikus in action again, yes murdock was absolut brilliance. I liked this film, I never really watched The A team, but i am a fan of this film, some of you A team fans may have a different opinion but tanks explosions and rediculous rescue missions make this film a win.
This is a comedy action packed film and i'd definately go and see it again, i thought it was gonna be a letdown based on the trailer, with a tank falling to earth but no. Murdock is defiantley the star of this film, liam nieson is ok but there is something about him that i dont quite like, i think its his accent. BA, shoulda been played by 50 cent as i cant understand a word he says so why not replace him with another big guy that i know but still cant understand a word he says. I was a bit dissapointed about the lack of gold chains aswell, come on if your gonna play Mr T then pull out the stops.
its not film of the year, I think toy story 3 is gonna win hands down, but it is defiantley a must see, even if it is not correct to the series, a comedy action packed film with a couple of stars in it that has been highly anticipated, gets my vote.
I dont really have a bad thing to say about this film, but im more looking forward to expendables, oh and this film is chic freindly, I went with my girlfriend and she loved it, probarly because that other guy had his top off quite alot, but oh well. If you loved the south african guy in district 9, watch this film just on that and i think youll be as happy as a house.
I give this film 8/10
I dont know what the others things but if this doesnt get atleast above a 6 then you spent too much time eating popcorn and comparing this with the 80's or whenever it was originally screened, i dont give a shit, i give it a hit.
This is a comedy action packed film and i'd definately go and see it again, i thought it was gonna be a letdown based on the trailer, with a tank falling to earth but no. Murdock is defiantley the star of this film, liam nieson is ok but there is something about him that i dont quite like, i think its his accent. BA, shoulda been played by 50 cent as i cant understand a word he says so why not replace him with another big guy that i know but still cant understand a word he says. I was a bit dissapointed about the lack of gold chains aswell, come on if your gonna play Mr T then pull out the stops.
its not film of the year, I think toy story 3 is gonna win hands down, but it is defiantley a must see, even if it is not correct to the series, a comedy action packed film with a couple of stars in it that has been highly anticipated, gets my vote.
I dont really have a bad thing to say about this film, but im more looking forward to expendables, oh and this film is chic freindly, I went with my girlfriend and she loved it, probarly because that other guy had his top off quite alot, but oh well. If you loved the south african guy in district 9, watch this film just on that and i think youll be as happy as a house.
I give this film 8/10
I dont know what the others things but if this doesnt get atleast above a 6 then you spent too much time eating popcorn and comparing this with the 80's or whenever it was originally screened, i dont give a shit, i give it a hit.
Tuesday 3 August 2010
The A-Team - STEEL
My Rating: 6/10
Honestly not quite as bad as i had been expecting. That's not a bad start really, the film opened with a collection of action sequences introducing each individual member of the A-Team. To me given the pedigree it felt kind of unnecessary, however i should take into account that this will be aimed at a new 11+ generation of action movie fans. All in all it opens explosively and gets any possible character nuances out of the way straight off so we can get straight into the plot of the film.
Things of importance are the following: Standard action movie redemption story, a double cross, obvious evil bad guy, unsurprising 'twist' villains, strained 'romance' story and super OTT action. If that sounds like something you fancy then best get going to see this. With all due respect the action is pretty good, there are instances where the effects are over the top and it all gets a bit too explodey and unrealistic. However this is exactly as it should be, it's the A-Team, Big Explosions and Big Action set pieces are the name of the game.
Relief from the continuous strain of action and obviousness comes in the form of the outright fantastic Sharlto Copley. He Plays mad murdock and provides a glaring comedy contrast to the roles of the other 3 members of the team. This is great as it really allows a break from the endless action and cheeky i'm all that moves of bradley coopers 'Faceman'. However after Copley's role in the utterly sublime sci-fi thriller District 9 it's clear he has the acting chops for a role so much better than this. Granted it's fantastic to him to be so recognized in hollywood that he got this role in the first place, yet we should expect to see him in real powerful and interesting roles. Liam neeson is his usual self, he plays the part of hannibal well but somehow his performance is left behind, much with quintin jackson unusual slightly odd portrayal of everyones favourite B.A. Baracus.
Something good:
Explosive silly action movie action!
Something bad:
Stupidly obvious plot.
Much Worse Than:
District 9
Better Than:
Predators
Overall: Leave your brain at the door and enjoy this for the pure ridiculous action.
Steel
Honestly not quite as bad as i had been expecting. That's not a bad start really, the film opened with a collection of action sequences introducing each individual member of the A-Team. To me given the pedigree it felt kind of unnecessary, however i should take into account that this will be aimed at a new 11+ generation of action movie fans. All in all it opens explosively and gets any possible character nuances out of the way straight off so we can get straight into the plot of the film.
Things of importance are the following: Standard action movie redemption story, a double cross, obvious evil bad guy, unsurprising 'twist' villains, strained 'romance' story and super OTT action. If that sounds like something you fancy then best get going to see this. With all due respect the action is pretty good, there are instances where the effects are over the top and it all gets a bit too explodey and unrealistic. However this is exactly as it should be, it's the A-Team, Big Explosions and Big Action set pieces are the name of the game.
Relief from the continuous strain of action and obviousness comes in the form of the outright fantastic Sharlto Copley. He Plays mad murdock and provides a glaring comedy contrast to the roles of the other 3 members of the team. This is great as it really allows a break from the endless action and cheeky i'm all that moves of bradley coopers 'Faceman'. However after Copley's role in the utterly sublime sci-fi thriller District 9 it's clear he has the acting chops for a role so much better than this. Granted it's fantastic to him to be so recognized in hollywood that he got this role in the first place, yet we should expect to see him in real powerful and interesting roles. Liam neeson is his usual self, he plays the part of hannibal well but somehow his performance is left behind, much with quintin jackson unusual slightly odd portrayal of everyones favourite B.A. Baracus.
Something good:
Explosive silly action movie action!
Something bad:
Stupidly obvious plot.
Much Worse Than:
District 9
Better Than:
Predators
Overall: Leave your brain at the door and enjoy this for the pure ridiculous action.
Steel
A team
So we have arrived in the cinema, and currently just the 4 of us sat down for a team! Not the best start for the summer blockbuster! Let's see if it pans out better! Love steel
Monday 2 August 2010
This Weeks Hit or Shit - The A -TEAM
Tomorrow's film is gonna be the A-Team, can Hollywood piss all over my childhood... probably.
Quisli has been missing since Toy Story 3, we believe he may have been traumitised by the scary baby doll - so this week we have a special follower guest - Emil.
Reviews should be on tomorrow night, or in Quisli's case the following week :S
Magnum
Quisli has been missing since Toy Story 3, we believe he may have been traumitised by the scary baby doll - so this week we have a special follower guest - Emil.
Reviews should be on tomorrow night, or in Quisli's case the following week :S
Magnum
SPOTIFY USERS
This is a play list of songs taken from movie soundtracks, if you have any songs to add feel free as we would love for the list to be endless.
http://open.spotify.com/user/scorchio25/playlist/0KgmWeqge4SPnEkKbKPFKN
http://open.spotify.com/user/scorchio25/playlist/0KgmWeqge4SPnEkKbKPFKN
TRAILER WATCH
Its that time again folks and I have picked a couple of trailers for you to mull over for a couple of weeks.
HIT
Get low, this film stars the always amazing Robert Duvall, one of my all time favourite actors Sir Bill Murray and Lucas Black, who is due a good role as he has bags of talent. I love this story, it sounds like a great idea, celebrate your life before you die.
SHIT
Grown Ups, Ok this just looks fucking awful it really does, what happened Adam you used to make me laugh and Chris you used to be edgy, now look at you, just look at yourself. Thats right you're a joke a really shit one at that.
Much love, El Papa Diablo
HIT
Get low, this film stars the always amazing Robert Duvall, one of my all time favourite actors Sir Bill Murray and Lucas Black, who is due a good role as he has bags of talent. I love this story, it sounds like a great idea, celebrate your life before you die.
SHIT
Grown Ups, Ok this just looks fucking awful it really does, what happened Adam you used to make me laugh and Chris you used to be edgy, now look at you, just look at yourself. Thats right you're a joke a really shit one at that.
Much love, El Papa Diablo
Toy Story 3 - Quisli
Well well well a third animation in the series of these toys that are so concerned wheter their owners play with them or not, i have never felt so guilty about misusing throwing away or not playing with my toys. Actually i never misussed my toys or threw them away as i am a serious hoarder and as for not playing with them well i played with my action men and fake flood well into my teens and then passed them onto my four year old brother at the time.
I was not too excited to go to see toy story 3, i did want to see it but after seeing inception i was wondering whether this film was going to have twist after twist and soemthing about dreams and putting people in dreams and making the environment of the dream and then wondering whether he was still dreaming at the end. but no this was a great film, and im glad i saw it at the cinema and i would see it again if my girlfriend will go with me after she was disapointed i went without her.
Dont watch a knock off of this, it is much better going to see it than buying off some chinese man that comes into the pub whilst your having a pint trying to sell you some jiggy jiggy and the latest blockbuster releases, leave that for inception as you will probarly need to watch a few times and i woulnt recommend paying the price of what Madonna probarly paid for her new adition to the family.
Anyway you will hear loads of rumours about this film, dont beleive any and just go and watch it, you cant miss it if youve already watched the other 2, its much better than number 2, in the way that terminator 2 still dicks on rise of the machines, i watched T2 today in HD wow, just wow.
This film gets a 10 out of 10 i think its been a win all round, full of surprises and i think there was a take from terminator in their somewhere and some other films so a major win win. Plus some hilarious scenes involving mr Potatoe Head
10 stars
I was not too excited to go to see toy story 3, i did want to see it but after seeing inception i was wondering whether this film was going to have twist after twist and soemthing about dreams and putting people in dreams and making the environment of the dream and then wondering whether he was still dreaming at the end. but no this was a great film, and im glad i saw it at the cinema and i would see it again if my girlfriend will go with me after she was disapointed i went without her.
Dont watch a knock off of this, it is much better going to see it than buying off some chinese man that comes into the pub whilst your having a pint trying to sell you some jiggy jiggy and the latest blockbuster releases, leave that for inception as you will probarly need to watch a few times and i woulnt recommend paying the price of what Madonna probarly paid for her new adition to the family.
Anyway you will hear loads of rumours about this film, dont beleive any and just go and watch it, you cant miss it if youve already watched the other 2, its much better than number 2, in the way that terminator 2 still dicks on rise of the machines, i watched T2 today in HD wow, just wow.
This film gets a 10 out of 10 i think its been a win all round, full of surprises and i think there was a take from terminator in their somewhere and some other films so a major win win. Plus some hilarious scenes involving mr Potatoe Head
10 stars
Sunday 1 August 2010
TOY STORY 3 - El Papa Diablo
To begin with I just want to say bravo to Pixar, these guys are constantly raising the bar not just for animation but for live action films as well. They write incredibly moving, funny and entertaining stories, that never fail to have an effect on the audience.
I sat down to watch Toy Story 3 as a massive fan of the franchise, I grew up in the piss poor Disney age of lost magic and had to live with the classics (go Jungle Book). Then in 1995 a film that changed everything arrived, Toy Story. Every production company tried to replicate that magic that was captured in Toy Story, they failed quite epically in my opinion, but Pixar just keep on releasing the magic. In Toy Story 3 they do this again and complete the greatest trilogy ever made (yeah that's right fuck you Star Wars fans)all three films are incredibly strong and speak to pretty much everybody of every age range (unless of course you sold your soul for a shot at the big time). There is nothing about this film I didn't love, it made me laugh. cry and put me on the edge of my seat and that is a huge achievement for an animated feature.
The story starts with the game Andy is playing in the first film, but this time its as Andy see's it and it is wonderful. We move through the years via Mum's video camera and arrive at present day. The toys no longer having a purpose as Andy has grown up and is moving away, leaving the toys useless (to him anyway). Many people at this present time will know exactly how that feels as employment is a mess all over the world and most of us feel like we are useless and no longer have a purpose. Pixar are very good at using current issues in their stories to let us know we are not alone. This sparks a mistaken move to the Sunnyside daycare centre, which on the surface appears to be a safe haven for toys. But of course it isn't, I will never look at baby dolls the same way again let me tell you, it is ruled by an evil cuddly bear who runs it like a prison of which he is the daddy. So the toys make their escape, not before Buzz is reset and believes he is a space ranger again, not to worry he is fixed shortly after with truly hilarious consequences.
The escape provides the funniest and most heart wrenching moments of film, Mr Tortilla head being the funniest moment in cinema this year by miles. This is by far the most dramatic of the three films, it really takes you to places that no other pixar or animated children's film has ever before, your heart beats and tears fill your eyes, as your childhood slips away from you. These are characters we have become attached to, the fact they are cartoon toys is irrelevant, these guys have been there for years making us laugh, cheering us up on those bad days when you can just put the movie in your DVD player and wear an instant smile, it will truly break your heart in places and also bring a tear of joy at times.
Toy Story 3 is more of an ensemble than the first 2 films, all the toys having equal footing pretty much. Mr Potato Head really standing up and being the funny guy here and Ken being a great addition to the cast, Michael Keaton doing his best work in a long time, perfect casting from pixar.
I loved this film and will watch it for the rest of my life and when I have kids I hope they will to. This film touched me because when Andy says goodbye to his toys, his old friends, we are saying goodbye to our old friends too. But at least we will always be able to pay them a visit.
My rating 10/10 best film of the year.
Much love El Papa Diablo.
P.S Magnum, you're my favourite deputy.
I sat down to watch Toy Story 3 as a massive fan of the franchise, I grew up in the piss poor Disney age of lost magic and had to live with the classics (go Jungle Book). Then in 1995 a film that changed everything arrived, Toy Story. Every production company tried to replicate that magic that was captured in Toy Story, they failed quite epically in my opinion, but Pixar just keep on releasing the magic. In Toy Story 3 they do this again and complete the greatest trilogy ever made (yeah that's right fuck you Star Wars fans)all three films are incredibly strong and speak to pretty much everybody of every age range (unless of course you sold your soul for a shot at the big time). There is nothing about this film I didn't love, it made me laugh. cry and put me on the edge of my seat and that is a huge achievement for an animated feature.
The story starts with the game Andy is playing in the first film, but this time its as Andy see's it and it is wonderful. We move through the years via Mum's video camera and arrive at present day. The toys no longer having a purpose as Andy has grown up and is moving away, leaving the toys useless (to him anyway). Many people at this present time will know exactly how that feels as employment is a mess all over the world and most of us feel like we are useless and no longer have a purpose. Pixar are very good at using current issues in their stories to let us know we are not alone. This sparks a mistaken move to the Sunnyside daycare centre, which on the surface appears to be a safe haven for toys. But of course it isn't, I will never look at baby dolls the same way again let me tell you, it is ruled by an evil cuddly bear who runs it like a prison of which he is the daddy. So the toys make their escape, not before Buzz is reset and believes he is a space ranger again, not to worry he is fixed shortly after with truly hilarious consequences.
The escape provides the funniest and most heart wrenching moments of film, Mr Tortilla head being the funniest moment in cinema this year by miles. This is by far the most dramatic of the three films, it really takes you to places that no other pixar or animated children's film has ever before, your heart beats and tears fill your eyes, as your childhood slips away from you. These are characters we have become attached to, the fact they are cartoon toys is irrelevant, these guys have been there for years making us laugh, cheering us up on those bad days when you can just put the movie in your DVD player and wear an instant smile, it will truly break your heart in places and also bring a tear of joy at times.
Toy Story 3 is more of an ensemble than the first 2 films, all the toys having equal footing pretty much. Mr Potato Head really standing up and being the funny guy here and Ken being a great addition to the cast, Michael Keaton doing his best work in a long time, perfect casting from pixar.
I loved this film and will watch it for the rest of my life and when I have kids I hope they will to. This film touched me because when Andy says goodbye to his toys, his old friends, we are saying goodbye to our old friends too. But at least we will always be able to pay them a visit.
My rating 10/10 best film of the year.
Much love El Papa Diablo.
P.S Magnum, you're my favourite deputy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)