Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - MAGNUM

My Rating: 10/10 Drum roll please – the reward for HIT 2010 goes to...

THIS ONE’S DEDICATED TO ALL YOU VIDEO GAME LOVERS OUT THERE AND THOSE WHO JUST REMEMBER BEING YOUNG :)

I knew this was going be some good shit the second the Universal logo popped up at the beginning in all its 8 bit glory and it’s the little touches from the Zelda music in one scene to Scott himself playing the theme tune to Final Fantasy 2 on his guitar that truly appeal to a gaming geek like myself – hell if I had any musical talent whatsoever I would also teach myself how to play the theme tune to Final Fantasy.

I think this is the main reason I fell in love with this film because I found myself relating to the main character more than any other film I’ve ever watched - EVER, from bad shaggy haircuts (I use to cut my own hair), drinking G+T’s (my favourite drink :/), falling madly in love with the dream girl (shall not be named for legal reasons), hurting the ones that meant something to you (sorry :( ), those dreaded love triangles (not even drunk enough to tell that story) and even dealing with evil ex’s (they weren’t trying to kill me though, just trying to get me fired) – yep been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

This is why the film has scored so highly for me because I truly felt I was on the same journey as the main character, relating to a load of stuff that happened in my early 20’s and the eventual end of that chapter where I learned just to respect myself something I had once lost along the way and that’s what this film is all about really – growing up, I’m sure most people have been on the same journey minus the seven evil ex’s trying to kill you and the Vegan police :S

The film itself focuses on the titled hero played by Michael Cera who falls for his dream girl Ramona Flowers, but for them to ever be fully together, Scott must first fight and defeat her seven evil ex’s, what comes next is video-game and pop culture overload – insane fight sequences based on different types of game from beat-em up’s to guitar hero face off’s – even a bit of Tony Hawk rail grinding too, all alongside an awesome soundtrack that appeals to all with a different mix of music genres from dance to good old rock n’roll. Directed by Edgar Wright who brought us the cult hit that was Spaced and also directed Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuss, his trademark style is all over this film – It’s loud, colourful, and fast-paced with the comic strip visuals supporting the action and the story.

As for the cast itself I found Michael Cera not as annoying and bland as usual – he’s usually the male version of Kristen “emotionless” Stewart (Bella Swan from those shit Twilight films) but I think the film was so well done and had a great supporting cast he was able to bring more life into this role. Mary Elizabeth Winstead who plays Ramona is HOT!!! – nugh said and the seven evil ex’s are brilliant in their own individual ways especially Chris Evans doing his best Clint Eastwood impression. My favourite character though had to be Scott’s roommate Wallace played by Macaulay’s younger brother Kieran Culkin who stole most of the scenes with his classic one liners and his sexual conquests throughout the film.

Based on a series of books, Scott Pilgrim is one of those films that has a pretty hardcore fan base, never reading the books myself I was oblivious to what to expect and I think that’s the best way to watch this film. Obviously there’s going to be differences to the books and from what I’ve heard this might not please some fans and the fact that Scott Pilgrim in the books is more cocky and confident doesn’t fit well into Michael Cera’s portrayal but hey at least they didn’t fuck it up by getting someone like Zac Effron – so stop bitching already!

MAGNUM’S VERDICT: This year’s late arrival may pip them all to get crowned Hit of 2010, watch this space.

PEACE

Tom France | Create your badge

Scott Pilgrim vs The World - El Papa Diablo

Let me level with you,I'm not a huge Michael Cera fan neither am I a huge fan of the incredibly average comedy clan that is currently destroying my giggles (I'm talking to you Seth Rogan). However I am a huge fan of Edgar Wright and everything he's done, what can I say he speaks to me. I had been excited about Scott Pilgrim as soon as I heard that Edgar Wright was directing it and he started to cast this bad boy, the only blemish being Cera, still I was excited. Edgar Wright you have ignited a fire for Michael Cera a fire that burns brightly in my tummy.

What I witnessed while watching this was a genre defining film, true originality unfolding before me, it was breathtaking (mainly due to laughter). The story follows an unlucky in love indie geek Scott Pilgrim (Cera) as he tries to mend his once broken heart, get a record deal with his band Sex Bob-omb (who are actually pretty fucking good) and share a bed with his gay best friend (Kieran Culkin in fine form) He meets Ramona Flowers (Winstead) while still dating the 17 year old catholic Chinese school girl Knives (Ellen Wong, who is one of the best things about this film). Ramona is his dream girl and he must have her no matter who gets hurt and Scott gets hurt a lot. He must fight Ramonas 7 evil exes so he can date her, take part in the battle of the bands and try to avoid Knives after a tricky break up. The fights are very well directed, played out like Street Fighter and Mortal Combat they send you in to a kind of delirious joy when they randomly break out and then leave you giggling as you realise there are scattered coins in the shape of men on the floor (great touch made me think of sonic). Visually they are spectacular, computer style graphics mixed with lightning quick kung fu and witty dialogue makes for a constant smile on the face (I hope you're reading Stallone) All the evil exes are great in their own way but Lucas Lee (Chris Evans) Todd Ingram (Brandon Routh) and Gideon Graves (Jason Schwartzman, always amazing) are by far the most evil and funny.

The dialogue is witty, quick and very Edgar Wright it will make you chuckle throughout and it is actually very quotable. The performances are great especially Michael Cera, Kieran Culkin and Ellen Wong. Cera carries the film and delivers, not only that he is amazing in the fight scenes, he actually looks like a seasoned pro when kicking a man's head of his shoulders (eat your heart out Adrian Brody). I am actually listening to the soundtrack right now I liked it that much, Beck providing the songs for Sex Bob-omb is a master stroke, they sound rough and sloppy but really catchy and the addition of T-Rex's Teenage Dream and The Bluetones Sleazy Bed track added to my love for this film. Edgar Wright is operating on another level here its like we are in his wet dream and loving every minute of it, he directs action like a white John Woo and and intimacy like Sam Mendes which is no easy feat yet you always know its him behind the camera, quick edits and geek culture prove that to us (as seen in the amazing Spaced). If you only watch one action/comedy/musical/romance/comic book/retro computer themed film this year make it this one.

In short, Edgar Wright I fucking love you, sticking to your guns and not going all Hollywood I applaud you sir. GREAT FLICK.

Rating 11/10 (actually 10/10) bit of Spinal Tap amp style in his film, look for it.

Much love El Papa Diablo

P.S Magnum, go fight some dudes for the love of a women and then go fuck yourself.

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World - STEEL

My Rating: 11/10

Yeh, it was so enjoyable that i'v decided to surpass my use of logic on this and go with the unfeasible score above on the basis that this movie was Awesome.

I'm not sure really where to start with my review as there's a lot that i can pick up on. The film is filled with witty comedy, a ridiculously fun plot and explosive over the top action. Michael Cera played his usual part but for this film that was exactly what it needed the role was perfect for him and he played the shy low on self confidence geek who finds himself and for all intents and purposes becomes a crazy action hero before the film is out.

As the trailer gives away the film revolves around Scott (Michael Cera) meeting the girl of his dreams and trying his hardest to get her only to realize to truly have her he must defeat her seven evil exs. Thus chaos ensues and the film turns into a rollercoaster of insane action utilizing brilliantly creative effects and a fantastic cast taking the place of the evil ex's including Brandon Routh (Superman returns) and Chris Evans (Fantastic Four). Both proved to be hilarious in effect contradicting their previous superhero roles.

The film it's self is shot so well, it's highly creative and plays out like a crazed mash of comic book / video game and high action movie. This is a serious nerd film and it features a ton of cheeky game references from the smart 8-bit music and graphics of a retro design on the universal logo to other things like grabbing a life and fights playing out as if they we're part of a tekken or street fighter.

There's consistent exciting music and variety of pace, humor and action. I can't really find the words to recommend this film it's a sublime watch and in hand absolutely one of a kind, there isn't anything else like this out there now!

Something Good:

Intelligent, witty and brilliant.

Something Bad:

For me i can't name a thing!

Worse than:

Nothing, it's wicked and in a league entirely of it's own.

Better than:

Anything i'v seen for a long, long time.

Overall:

Awesome mental film, fantastically surreal and absolutely fantastic because of it.

STEEL!

Expensivelyshitables - Quisli

My review seemed to have got lost in the post, oh well what a shame that was. To stop wasting your time because you've been waiting over a week for this - Stallone is the director - pretty much summed this film up from the opening credits.

Crap plot, unrealistic gun that blows people a mile away, bad bad ending, actually it was a good ending becuase the film was over and I could go home and do some other stuff and quite easily forget aboutthe film and wonder what Scott pilgrim vs the world is gonna be like next week.

I'm not gonna bother you guys too much, go watch this film if there is nothing else on and you want somethingto severly take the piss out of. Mikey rourke was not used enough, he was the best thing about the film, willis and arnies roles were megger very small and not worth wathingthis film for, if you want to see a cheesy action film don't watch this one watch one of my classics Commando!

Sleep tight people and remeber they can't make cheesy action films like they used to, bad action hero actors should stay actors not turn into directors, maybe polititons

I give this film a not deserved 4 out of 10

The Expendables - STEEL

My Rating: 5/10

Not really much i can say about this if i'm honest, i actually quite enjoyed it. In all respects it was hilarious! The action was brutal and very 80's but there's not a great deal of positives i can make.

I may as well start with the cast, the problem is it should be Epic it should be a huge mega swan song for the action hero's of the 80's you read the poster and you think wow they've gone and got Arnie, Sly, Willis, Lundgren and rourke in this! Unfortunately it doesn't point out that the only one really doing any action is stallone! Most people will go to this expected to see this fantastic ensemble cast kicking massive amounts of ass 80's style and are going to be thoroughly disappointed.

Mind lets not forget the new wave action hero's in there, Statham was in fairness not bad but when he's always in the role of the londoner it's not that hard for him. I actually also quite like Jet Li but for this film he was so under utilized no real exciting marshal arts set pieces it all felt like he was there for a few size jokes alongside lundgren. There are also some wrestlers who do a bit of wrestling on fire toward the end it's all a bit stupid really.

The plot was the same old action movie fare, something bad happens and some foreign nationals are of course responsible and this equals the all action americans getting involved and doing their bit. However the plot twist that doesn't actually happen because it's made apparent immediately is that some americans are in fact behind all this bad stuff. Unsurprisingly they've gone rouge from the CIA and apparently stone cold is proper hard.

There's a consistent supply of misfiring jokes some are appropriate given the cast but not worth the entire film for. I can't really add much more to this so i'll round up and look forward to SCOTT PILGRIM next week.

Something good:

Hilarious for all the wrong reasons

Something Bad:

Stupid, Stupid plot and misleading poster!

Worse than:

Any other film Stallone wrote

Better Than:

Piranha 3D (probably)

Overall: Don't expect too much and if you watch it watch it for the incoherence and complete idiocy of it all.

STEEL

Thomas Randolph Magnum

BIO:
Thomas Randolph Magnum is a troubled soul, little is known about his past, although the heavy drinking and the lone wolf attitude suggests to others he’s running away from something or someone.

He came to Aftermath City in his early 30’s and that’s where he befriended Steel and they both became private investigators.
Whereas Steel fights crime for truth and justice, Magnum seems to just enjoy the violence involved, satisfying some kind of thirst the only way he can without actually being a criminal himself.

When he’s not fighting crime you can find Magnum in his seedy apartment probably drunk or passed out lying in his own urine.

MAIN SKILLS:

STRENGTH: 52
TOUGHNESS: 57
AGILITY: 18
INTELLIGENCE: 2

SPECIAL SKILLS:

SEXUAL DEVIANCE: 100
RAGING ALCOLHOLIC: 100

TOP 5 FAVOURITE FILMS:

21 HUMP STREET
DONE IN 60 SECONDS
GANGBANGS OF NEW YORK
THE DA VINCI LOAD
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA

The Expendables - El Papa Diablo

Wow, my god, holy shit.....just some of the words I uttered as I cringed my way through what I can only describe as a steaming pile of over hyped turd. If like me you have a penis and a pair of testes I imagine you were filled with excitement when the news hit, the mother of all action films was coming, starring the Godfathers of guns, the patron saints of one liners, the dogs of death, Stallone, Willis and Arnie. They would be called the Expendables, a group of highly trained mercenaries capable of kicking ass and taking names and also partaking in some battlefield based witty banter.

So the film kicks off with the Mercs taking on a group of Somalian pirates who have kidnapped the crew of a boat as you can imagine the pirates get an ass whooping. Cue trip to see the always amazing Micky Rourke who doubles as a tattoo artist and the contact for all the dodgy work the Expendables get. Barney (Stallone) excepts a job that "will take them to hell and back", so Barney goes to see the man who is offering him the job, its Bruce Willis and Arnie turns up as a rival Mercenary who doesn't like playing in the jungle. This scene was supposed to be a legendary moment, it misses the mark completely, the job gets accepted blah blah yak yak Bruce threatens Sly blah blah. Barney and Lee Christmas (Statham, that's right Christmas, brother to Lloyd) take a trip to some fucked up Island where a general has been corrupted by a rouge CIA agent (Eric Roberts, hamming it up nicely) and his heavy (Stone Cold Steve Austin). Barney who has never been in love meets a women waaaaaaay out of his league and falls in love with her after she teaches him a lesson about giving, MEH.

A car chase and an Expandable going bad later all the Expendables go back and blow the shit of the Island and save the princess, that turns out to be the filthy generals daughter (what a twist) and then leave her there because Barney prefers the company of Statham, Li, Crews, Couture and Lungren (to some extent).

This film was bad, it was badly written and badly directed by Mr Stallone (he wrote Rocky and won an oscar for it, Rocky is amazing). He really dropped a bollock on this one. The worst thing is the dialogue its just so bad and unconvincing. Every line seems to have been written as a clever one liner but they are all so bad none of the conversations make sense. One speech is good but I think that's because its made by Micky Rourke who provides the only engaging 2 minutes of the film ( I would have paid to watch a 2 hour Rourke monologue rather then this). The story, what story there isn't one it a series of set pieces and fillers that are so fucking boring it felt like I was Expendable. With a cast of old school and new school action heroes the acting was never going to be Oscar worthy, but its taken to another level here, the supposed funny banter between the Expendables is so pointless and unfunny that it was painful to watch (Tom Hanks did better with a dog in Turner and Hooch). I kind of felt sorry for the cast, only Rourke had the talent to make it work. Action, it was....ok, not mind blowing but ok, it entertained but didn't give me a full on robot chubby. I really did not like this film.

In short.......SHIT A STEAMING PILE OF SHIT.

Rating 2/10

P.S Magnum go join the go fuck yourself gang and then go fuck yourself.