Tuesday 18 January 2011

The Green Hornet - MAGNUM

My Rating: 4/10 - Does Kato-Vision cost as much as 3D Vision???

FORGET STUDYING CREATIVE WRITING KIDS - GET FAT, SMOKE POT AND WRITE SHIT AND HOLLYWOOD WILL COME A'KNOCKIN AT YOUR DOOR.

It's good to be back and what better way to kick off 2011 by watching a Hit –unfortunately we FUCKING DIDN’T and I can only imagine the downward spiral that is upon us for the next several months.

First things first – why the hell was this film in 3D – there was no need for it to be in 3D – it obviously wasn’t made to be in 3D based on the cinematography of the film, apart from the odd explosion nothing jumped out at you or any shit like that – the frickin Odeon advert with its fucking butterflies were more 3D than this film.
I’m sick of paying a £10 ticket for all this 3D nonsense – its bullshit – an absolute rip off and the film industry bitches and moans when people don’t pay for a film “costing” the industry money– well if the industry wasn’t run by money grabbing fucks ripping people off left, right and centre you might not get little Johnny downloading Kung Fu Panda 2!!!

Anyway onto the film… SHIT

Seth Rogen plays Britt Reid the playboy who out of boredom and lacking purpose suddenly decides to play superhero - I could go on about how Seth Rogen plays the same lovable doofus in every single film and how his dialogue ranges from “AWESOME” to “OK” but I do love Rogen – I loved Pineapple Express and Superbad and he can play that same role for all eternity for all I care just as long as the cast around him are better than he is and the story isn’t a piece of shit i.e. not The Green Hornet and something more like The 40 Year Old Virgin which was brilliant.

As for the story – I don’t know much about the original radio show or TV show – just that it originally starred Bruce Lee as Kato, but the whole idea of good guys pretending to be bad guys to get to the bad guys has to be the dumbest idea ever, especially when it just involves The Green Hornet and his sidekick Kato driving round in their car beating up street gangs and that’s the “story” the two of them going round causing trouble unveiling a dumb conspiracy that you saw coming a mile off and saving the day by being a pair of screw ups.
Needless to say that’s pretty much all you’re getting – a film with hardly any story and Rogen being his usual dumb-ass self all the way through it.

I did find the film entertaining in parts – The guy who played Kato stole most of the scenes from Rogen - a couple of the fight scenes were well played out and a couple of funny cameo appearances from James Franco to wait for it… EDDIE FURLONG (John Connor himself) and if you think that guy can’t luck any worse than he did in The Crow 4 – then take a look at this film – prepare to be shocked!!!

MAGNUM’S VERDICT: A comic-book film in January? What did you expect? If you want to see Seth Rogen at his best go and watch Donnie Darko and YES - he is in Donnie Darko.

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