The Karate Kid - MAGNUM

My Rating: 10/10 – Woah I know Kung Fu

KARATE SUCKS ASS WHILE KUNG FU KICKS ASS!!!

If I’m being honest I was about as excited to watch this film as much as you can be excited to go to a health clinic to double check you didn’t catch anything of that dodgy looking bird the night before.

Back when I was eight years old I hated the Karate Kid and usually the stuff you remember being good when you were a kid turns out to be dog shit when you watch it today so I can only imagine how the original film would fair up to my grown up (kind of) mind today.
I didn’t like Ralph Macchio who was the original karate kid – he was quite a unlikeable character who moaned and bitched all the time – I don’t blame them bullies for beating the shit out of him throughout the film, I couldn’t understand a word Mr Miyagi was saying and the whole film was boring and had this whole channel five vibe about it – in short – it was SHIT, so when I heard the wonderful news of a remake starring Will Smith’s kid, I can remember my reaction in two words – FUCK THAT!!!

But I didn’t fuck that, instead I decided to take a risk and give this film a go (must be getting soft in my old age) and boy am I glad I did!

It’s pretty much the same old story – but done a million times better, set in China with Kung Fu thrown in. Jaden Smith stars as the new Karate Kid, Dre (named after Dr Dre) whose moved to China with his mother, gets bullied by the most menacing Chinese kid ever to grace the cinematic screen, Jackie Chan shows up playing Mr Han, teaches him Kung Fu – YES KUNG FU, no sissy Karate here, loads of training montage galore and then onto the final tournament for some ass whooping time.

Like I said a very similar plot, but there is a lot more thrown in – there has to be for a film that is over two hours long. From Dre’s relationships with Han, his mum and some Chinese bird who’s into dirty dancing to a very emotional scene with Mr Han facing his personal demons alongside his student and new found friend this film delivers a heart warming tale with thrilling action and a lot of humour.

Jaden Smith is already a better actor than his dad and he’s only 12 years old, when we’re first introduced to him he comes over all cocky, but when he’s getting the shit kicked out of him we begin to see the vulnerable side to his character and the relationship that evolves with Mr Han is quite sweet indeed and speaking of Mr Han, the star performance of the film has to go to Jackie Chan. Having been the pun of many jokes in the Rush Hour and Shanghi films it was really cool to see Chan play a more serious and emotional character and one scene with him sharing his past with his young student is a very powerful and moving moment.

Overall it’s quite predictable, especially towards the end when you realise you’re watching a remake – but it’s a remake that works and I don’t use those words often; the equation usually goes like this 80’s film + Hollywood remake = SHIT, but in this case Hollywood have done themselves proud – you may pat yourselves on the back. Now please don’t fuck it up by making some pointless crappy sequels.

MAGNUM’S VERDICT: There’s no Jessica Biel this week, but you know what – I DON’T GIVE A SHIT – That’s how good this film really is!!!